The Wait

I'm now at the end of the waiting time. It's a dreadful period of time us infertile people refer to as "the two week wait." The next 48 hours or so should reveal our success or failure.

I was thinking today about how frustrating the two week wait can be, but I realized that this 48 hours is truly the hardest part. This is the time when hope dies. I start to get cramps, and I tell myself it's just a stomach ache. Denial is heightened. I'm constantly telling myself that the decision has already been made. I can't do or undo anything anymore. No matter how much I'm trying to bargain with God, His will be done. I'm just waiting to find out where His path leads next. My focus is being patient and accepting any outcome.

I'm happy to have a busy little toddler to keep me busy. She has been enjoying her dance class, speaking long strings of sentences quite clearly, singing, scarfing down egg salad sandwiches, "cooking" in her play kitchen, and playing the games I got her at a thrift store last weekend. I was amazed to find that the games I got were in great shape and included all of the pieces. That never happens! At least I'm lucky in some part of my life!

My last 48 are ticking by. Let's see what God has in store.