Angel Boy - Part 4

My story left off as we awaited the results of tests on my amniotic fluid. A few days passed, and we were anxious to hear what the exact diagnosis of our baby would turn out to be. During that time we had to make our big decision about what we would do next.

I felt empty. I had two paths in front of me. One path was an uncertain road. According to the doctor, this baby wouldn't survive. It was only a matter of time before life would leave this child. We were just waiting for it to happen. That was the most horrible feeling. It's something I can't effectively describe here. What if we did nothing and waited? I had visions of having a constantly sick feeling for an indefinite period of time. I would never be able to stop wondering when it would happen. People would continue ask me about my pregnancy. Strangers would put their hands on my belly or ask me when I was due, and I would have to put on a smile and pretend it was ok. The idea of traveling this path was horrifying to me.

My other path as described by my physician would involve being induced and having the baby right away. The baby would certainly pass away at some point during the labor and delivery, and we would say our goodbyes. As we talked about this path, my doctor told me that if we wanted to go down this road, we had to decide very quickly because our state's laws would prohibit us from continuing with this if we waited much longer, although she did say that there are exceptions if a person's doctor writes a medical explanation about it. I was completely caught off guard by this. Here I was in the most difficult situation of my life. In a matter of days we had gone from expecting a healthy addition to our family to facing huge decisions about our horrible diagnosis and there were people in suits at a meeting somewhere who had already decided for me?! Now I was being rushed by lawmakers to take action because of their limits on me. How is that possible? It added insult to injury for me. My husband and I had some real decisions to make, and we were under the gun to make them.

In just a few days we were given the results of our final tests. They had done a full genetic analysis and we had our diagnosis. If you haven't noticed it yet in the tags on my posts, it was called Triploidy. The previous guess on our baby was a triplet of one chromosome as is the case with Trisomy disorders. We found out that it was much worse than that. Triploidy is when there are three of every chromosome rather than the normal pairs of two. The consequences of this are dramatic. Every cell in the body is affected. Typically these pregnancies miscarry in the first 8-10 weeks. When you do make it past that point, the chances of the baby surviving the pregnancy are slim to none. If the baby does survive to birth, it will most certainly perish in the first few hours of life. This condition is always fatal. Although these babies don't have properly formed internal organs that correspond with their gender, their external appearance can indicate a specific gender. In this case we found out we would be having a boy.

It turns out that women with Triploidy pregnancies are also at higher risk for some pregnancy related complications and illnesses. If we decided that we wanted to try to progress in the pregnancy and give our baby the best shot at whatever life he'd have, I would have to undergo a C-Section because the birth would put too much pressure on his poorly developed skull and brain. Even with a C-Section, he was still unlikely to survive beyond his first few moments out of the womb.

After much thought, the decision was clear. It was never what we wanted, but I knew it was right for me. We would have taken disability, but that's not what we had. We had a death sentence. Our baby was caught here, and he was going to be called home soon. My health was in jeopardy - mental and physical. We decided to meet him right away. We decided to set our whole family free. Arrangements had to be made. News had to be shared. We set about moving along in our journey. In the days to come we would face our baby boy. We would say our goodbyes. We would test our relationship. We would explore our faith. We would face the unexpected, and I would find out that I was a stronger person than I ever knew.

The last installment of this story is coming soon. My son's birthday is almost here, so the final chapters of his story have constantly been on my mind. Thanks for reading!