Adventures in Babysitting

I had to face an interesting part of myself this week. We realized that we should get out more, so we decided to find ourselves a babysitter. This will be our second time out since last August. It's amazing how little time we have together when I think about it!

We started to think about who we could line up for this task. It's ideal to have our daughter at home. Her toys are here. Her bed is here. Our house is toddler-friendly. It's just easier. The only problem with this is that most of the suitable sitters we know have their own kids, and it's easier for them to be at their houses too. We decided to rule out friends with kids this time. The length of time we'll be out and the time of day will make it too hard to bother our friends who have kids for this outing.

Then we started looking at our friends who don't have kids as an alternative. My husband immediately offered up a male friend of his as an option. This is a gentleman we've known for quite a long time. My husband knows him much better than I do, but I am familiar with him. Everything I know about him is positive. He was free at the time we needed him. But then... something started to creep into my mind.

I'll admit to several things at this point. I'm a worrier. I clearly don't leave my child often, so I probably lack normal comfort level about it. I'm overly analytical. I'm overprotective. I'm a control freak. I'm realizing that these things are obstacles to a successful date night!

The little things that started to creep into my mind were all stereotypes about gender. This is a single guy. I've never seen him with a love interest. I've never seen him around kids. I can't picture him taking my child to the potty and wiping her butt. Yup, that's what I immediately thought. I kind of surprised myself! I see myself as an open person, but maybe I'm not as open as I thought!

I started to think about where my apprehension was coming from. I wanted to figure out the factors that affected my comfort level about a person. Yes, how much I know the person is number one. I'm also pretty comfortable if I know firsthand that the person has had a ton of experience with kids. After that, I realized that I might be more comfortable with a couple. I'd also be more comfortable with a married man, a gay man, a single girl... just about anything other than a single, straight man. I think I would also be more comfortable if my child was a boy. I've never had to face my bias before, and I'm not sure I like it.

At the same time, I don't want to ignore my motherly instinct. Since I've never really faced these feelings before, I'm not sure how to sort them all out in my mind. In the meantime I'm going to have to trust my instincts if I want to go out with my husband and have a good night. While he trusts this person implicitly, I just don't know what his experience is with children. While he's been around my daughter before and she loved him, I just wasn't quite ready to leave her in his care. I don't even know why. I just know I'm apprehensive. Maybe I'll get over it, but I'm not there yet. In the end, we decided to have my husband's parents come to our house to watch her. While we aren't close at this point so we don't often see them, I trust them. Now I'm much more relaxed now and looking forward to a date! My choice of restaurant doesn't seem to be in the cards though. They were completely booked with reservations, so we decided to show up looking pathetic and hungry and hope we can get a table within an hour or so. We'll see how it works.

Has anyone else ever had to face their gender stereotypes? Was it in a childcare situation? What did you do? Have your opinions changed over time? Just curious.

Aside from our planned escape, we've been busy with another round of fertility treatments. I actually had to inject myself tonight. (Gulp) I did it! It's wasn't that bad! I was so nervous and fixated on being able to do the injection, that I forgot to swab my skin with alcohol beforehand. If my leg turns black and falls off, I'll let you know! We are facing the doctor next week to figure out our plan from here. We can't really afford IVF or adoption, so we'll have to see if there is still hope for us within our current treatments. I'm hoping the meeting will all be in vain. Maybe this will work. Soon I will be facing the long 2 week wait to find out if we've had any success this time. It's something I'll never get used to.

I know that we're overdue for some pictures and maybe a recipe. Has it really been 2 weeks since I've posted pictures? Thanks for those that have stuck with me. Pictures are forthcoming. I've got a few up my sleeve. All I know is that I'm going out with my husband. Everything else will have to get in line this week!